Do I actually need a tea needle?

I would buy an awl from the wood working section of a store they work well to work with. The picks are actually inexpensive on Ebay.

I have hands.

Puer frisbie! looks like I am not the only one that’s gotten a disappointing cake in the mail.

Many tea cakes are compressed loose enough that using your hands damages less leaf than the needle, though the center of the cake is usually hard to pry apart. I have tried both knife an screwdriver and prefer using a needle. Its more ergonomic and seems to damage the tea less. They are only a few bucks.

Yes . They are very cheap on Aliexpress

If you buy one don’t buy one of the really flimsy ones that are really sewing awls sold as puerh needles, they can break on a tea cake. Good examples are sold by Yunnan Sourcing, Berylleb King Tea on EBay, and in almost every store that specializes in puerh.

You can get an pu’er needle for really cheap. Mandala has them if you want it fast (assuming you are US based). Ebay and aliexpress are cheap but you’ll have to ride shipping from china.

I tried an eyeglasses flathead screwdriver and a fine crochet hook – those do not work and just rip the cake to pieces. My husband took a screwdriver and grinded it to a point and that works alright.

If you are truly desperate and know you are going to drink the entire cake, stuff it in a bag and break it with a hammer or something.

For good quality pu’er that you are intended to age, you might want to have a proper tea knife and glove to break the cake because the oil from our hands affects the aging process of it, similarly to how you cultivate a Yixing tea pot.