Need help- anyone good at writing descriptions?
Hello All!
I need some help with some words- a short description, maybe a few sentences.
Here is what I am doing: I am putting together a basket of tea samples from my stash for a charity silent auction. There will be a selection of maybe 5 or 6 teas, like from Teavivre, 52Teas, Teavana, etc. I will throw in some fancy overpriced German rock sugar, a mug, etc. etc.
Here is my quandary: I live in a medium size, redneck town. Most likely no one bidding on this basket will have the remotest idea about what I have put in there- they have no idea that there are nicer teas that you have to mail-order. I could call them “gourmet”, but that term is so over-used, and it really does not mean anything anymore (too many marginal products labeled as gourmet).
I want to get across to them, in a few sentences (this is the description that will go on the bid sheet) that this is the best tea available from around the world, and they cannot purchase it in the grocery store, and no- they would never have heard of these teas before- because we live in a crappy redneck tourist town. These teas are too good for this town. So you should bid a lot.
Anyone up to the challenge?
Thanks so much- any help is greatly appreciated, because the money is all going to a local animal rescue group I volunteer for, http://pcbpawsandclaws.org/ (this crappy redneck tourist town also euthanizes more animals than any other municipality, per capita, than any other place in Florida. I am so happy to live here.)
Gourmet is overused, but so is luxury. Hmmm.
This might sound silly, but are your teas going to be all one type of tea or different teas? Like all black teas or a mix of black, green, white, oolong, and the like?
Not any more helpful than a thesaurus I’m afraid, but off the top of my head some words that might be useful: connoisseur, delight, sumptuous, exclusive. You may want to peruse some of the fancier tea shops online and look at the ad copy for their deluxe samplers or gift sets and see if there’s any vocabulary there that might help. I’m sorry I can’t be of more use; I don’t feel confident enough in my tea knowledge yet to actually offer to help write specifics. But best of luck to you and the animals!
Hmmm exotic, extraordinary, premium, exceptional, rare, and remarkable are a few words we use to highlight the specialness of a certain teas. Sometimes we use “truly” before one of those words to add extra emphasis, for example: this truly extraordinary tea is…..
Edit: Also, you might want to add the total retail value of all the items you are adding. A high price tag may intrigue some people to bid.
Expand your horizons with this basket of teas chosen from around the world. Not your average every day grocery store teas, these teas have been chosen from some of our favourite retailers to add a little “extra” ordinary to your day.
Treat yourself to a small taste of sunshine in tea form!
This basket will delight anyone looking for a way to relax, and let their senses experience something different and unique.
yeah i dunno..i’m rambling but hopefully it will inspire you to come up with something creative. Sometimes the best way to find yourself to an end state is to have something else to start from. :)
First word that popped into my head (and boy, have some good ones been pitched already!) was premium. Conveys that your lovely little basket contains something a notch more special than what your medium size rednecks (yeah, I live there, too) can pick up at the Price Cutter :)
And if you have the information on sourcing, where you can tell a story in a sentence of two evoking how much care is taken in how certain teas in the basket are made, that could help.
Taking a stab at this, if that’s alright! Just tried to reword what you said in your summary paragraph. Hope the auction goes well for you and your local rescue group!!
The blanks are for, maybe, a couple of the teas with some interesting names/grades, for the sake of being intriguing.
—
“An exclusive selection of the finest teas from around the world.
Rare, premium teas like these are as highly valued in international markets as gourmet coffee and fine wine. Tea of such incredible quality simply cannot be found on grocery shelves, and this particular collection, including “_________” and “_________”, is sure to delight and impress.
Take advantage of this opportunity to experience tea like you’ve never imagined before."
I like what Rie T was saying, that sounds nice. Just don’t choose the teas with super fancy names, go with ones that they’ll know and then explain what makes their flavor stand out from any tea that you can find in the grocery store.
WOW! You guys are fabulous. So many good suggestions! This is definitely making my job so much easier.
I decide this morning that I am going to try to put together a small booklet to go with the teas, just a few pages about tea, history, types, where the ones in the basket come from, and suggested links.
But doing the few sentences on the front, for the bid sheet, was definitely going to be the hardest- and you guys have done that for me. So many years of scientific training have beaten any imagination out of my writing- and imagination is what is needed to write those most important few sentences!
Thank you all so much again!
As an English major in university I found it SO HARD to write reports for my science credit. I’m rolling in personal opinion and exaggeration. :)
Oh yeah- they knock that right out of you early on. I remember the first draft of the first article I wrote in grad school- my prof gave it back to me like 5 times before I had gotten rid of every single extra descriptive word. Not even anything vague like “seems” or “appears to” or “similar to”. It either is or is not, with no elaboration whatsoever :) So I now have no hope of doing any creative writing, even just for a little gift basket of tea!
The kind of writing I do requires absolute word economy, but that doesn’t mean the words have to be sparse or vague. It’s difficult writing for a world that doesn’t read! (Conversely, I am amazed at the fluffery and two-paragraphs-to-convey-three-words-worth that makes it past many trained composition teachers.) Oops. Soapbox. Sorry!
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