Oh how I have missed you Steepster. Went up to see my folks in New York for the holidays, the usual traumatic dramatic blow up and stress occurred, and I have never been so happy to return home to my friends and cats and tea and own relaxed way of doing things. I packed some Harney tea bags (Tower of London, I thought I liked you before but man, you REALLY came through for me up there despite the hard-as-rocks tap water…you have my eternal gratitude and appreciation) but it was a bit of a bummer having all these wonderful holiday-themed teas to try 1,000 miles away from me on Christmas eve and day. Ah well! Got another glorious week with the husband and friends; I predict a lot of catch up tea time. The night we arrived back there was a package waiting for us from a beautiful friend in Ohio full of homemade jams and salsas, and we stopped into Trader Joe’s on the way out of Chapel Hill a couple weeks ago, making these afternoons all the sweeter.
Stayed up ‘til after 3am (last night was fun, got to put on a nice dress and shoes and jewelry, roast chestnuts and mix up fancy drinks for a friend and myself, go out to dinner—got Chinese pork and cabbage stew leftovers today yum!—talk about lyric writing and bad music videos from the ’80s, and make plans for a pots de creme party next weekend…friends are the best), slept in and cuddled with the cats all morning. Now R’s over at a friend’s brushing up on code and music making, so I have a much-needed opportunity to decompress alone. Listening to my favorite albums of the year (Grouper’s on right now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnejbIBLGTg ), puttering away at mini projects around the apartment, reading said dear friend’s awesome wry emotionally sharp fan fiction (here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1103265 ), making tea.
Man do I love the cream aroma of Butiki teas. This was unsurprisingly delicious (and very welcome as our uber favorite local glass bottle eggnog from Rock Springs dairy is AWOL for some reason this year). I love that you can really taste the praline too, not just the eggnog. I’m quite certain I prefer this to the much beloved Creamy Eggnog. I hope there’ll somehow be an affordable chance to restock these Amoda blends eventually. So good. Bonus, it resteeps well!
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OMG BEEN THERE, BEEN THERE, BEEN THERE!!!! i just don’t do it anymore. if everyone has to drink in order not to kill one another, it’s not worth it, lol.
it’s comforting to know i’m not alone, but i’m sorry to hear that James. yeah, it’s happened enough times now, and it takes it toll enough now that i know it isn’t normal/ok/healthy that i’m finally slowly getting better about drawing boundaries. i love my family and going up is my only chance to see the extended fam to boot, so i’m going to still visit occasionally, but i’m never staying at the old house again and finally my mom understands that’s not an insult to her, it’s just how it has to be.
as a plus, things like that make me incredibly grateful for what i have found down here, wonderful friends and a home life i feel at ease and loved in, that lets me focus on my passions and be myself without feeling judged or shamed or just too distracted by drama stress to pursue. feeling surges of love and gratitude for my adult life and social circle is a pretty great way to experience the holidays, so there is that!
indeed! my mother does not understand that…. that’s just how it is. i can’t MAKE her understand or accept anything or anyone. nor should i have to. sometimes people do not influence one another well— sometimes those people are blood relations.
i missed you!!! i missed you reviews! yes, i’m a giant dork, but that was already an established fact. =0D
btw, never heard of grouper before…. definitely decompressing.
Been there done that too, though it’s not so bad now for years part of the weekend would divulge into some sort of therapy / grievance session for perceived and real harms occurring in someone’s childhood. Things are much better, because one party has finally realised that they don’t need everyone to say they experienced the same thing to validate their grievances and the others meet much more often so everything doesn’t fall on Christmas anymore. In fact this time the only issue we had was convincing someone to stay over because they had had a little much. I went through a period where going home was stressful as vwell and I tended to meet my mother elsewhere. So my sympathies and yay for Kitty’s who seem to know just what we need at times!
yes, yay cats! :D
i’m sorry to hear that yyz, and hear ya on the “weekly therapy/grievance session” stuff for sure. thank goodness for growing in maturity over time and for hugs both in person and online from people who understand.
James, i only just discovered her because of end-of-year “best of” album lists (ditto for the knife). i really loved early 4AD-type his name is alive back in the day, and she kind of reminds me of that. oh, and “sometimes people do not influence one another well”—yes, exactly, alas.
ohoh, and i meant to say too, aw that’s very touching of you to say you missed my posts James! i’ve definitely missed steepster. it’s nice to talk to you guys again!
<3
Love this post! Glad you survived the holiday trip, and happy new year!
Happy new year to all of you guys right back atcha! And thank you very much for the support everyone. Steepsters are the sweetest. :)
OMG BEEN THERE, BEEN THERE, BEEN THERE!!!! i just don’t do it anymore. if everyone has to drink in order not to kill one another, it’s not worth it, lol.
it’s comforting to know i’m not alone, but i’m sorry to hear that James. yeah, it’s happened enough times now, and it takes it toll enough now that i know it isn’t normal/ok/healthy that i’m finally slowly getting better about drawing boundaries. i love my family and going up is my only chance to see the extended fam to boot, so i’m going to still visit occasionally, but i’m never staying at the old house again and finally my mom understands that’s not an insult to her, it’s just how it has to be.
as a plus, things like that make me incredibly grateful for what i have found down here, wonderful friends and a home life i feel at ease and loved in, that lets me focus on my passions and be myself without feeling judged or shamed or just too distracted by drama stress to pursue. feeling surges of love and gratitude for my adult life and social circle is a pretty great way to experience the holidays, so there is that!
indeed! my mother does not understand that…. that’s just how it is. i can’t MAKE her understand or accept anything or anyone. nor should i have to. sometimes people do not influence one another well— sometimes those people are blood relations.
i missed you!!! i missed you reviews! yes, i’m a giant dork, but that was already an established fact. =0D
btw, never heard of grouper before…. definitely decompressing.
Been there done that too, though it’s not so bad now for years part of the weekend would divulge into some sort of therapy / grievance session for perceived and real harms occurring in someone’s childhood. Things are much better, because one party has finally realised that they don’t need everyone to say they experienced the same thing to validate their grievances and the others meet much more often so everything doesn’t fall on Christmas anymore. In fact this time the only issue we had was convincing someone to stay over because they had had a little much. I went through a period where going home was stressful as vwell and I tended to meet my mother elsewhere. So my sympathies and yay for Kitty’s who seem to know just what we need at times!
yes, yay cats! :D
i’m sorry to hear that yyz, and hear ya on the “weekly therapy/grievance session” stuff for sure. thank goodness for growing in maturity over time and for hugs both in person and online from people who understand.
James, i only just discovered her because of end-of-year “best of” album lists (ditto for the knife). i really loved early 4AD-type his name is alive back in the day, and she kind of reminds me of that. oh, and “sometimes people do not influence one another well”—yes, exactly, alas.
ohoh, and i meant to say too, aw that’s very touching of you to say you missed my posts James! i’ve definitely missed steepster. it’s nice to talk to you guys again!
<3
Love this post! Glad you survived the holiday trip, and happy new year!
Happy new year to all of you guys right back atcha! And thank you very much for the support everyone. Steepsters are the sweetest. :)