…I can’t think of any other way to write this note.
Conversation between this tea and me:
Tea: mmm key change, you’re so sexy.
tea: mmm yeah!
Tea: what’s wrong?
Tea: No seriously. You’re different. What is it?
me: no, you’re different. I think we need a break. Maybe start seeing other people.
tea: what are you talking about? didn’t you just drink me last week and have your love all reaffirmed?
me: but that’s just it. You’re not reliable. not consistent. And I need me a tea that’s dependable, you know? I just never know which version of you I’m going to get.
Tea: Well is it my fault that that you are steep challenged?
Me: It probably is, actually
Tea: That’s always been the problem with you, hasn’t it. It’s always someone else’s fault.
me: are you seriously giving me attitude? You have, like, a mood disorder or something.
Tea: there you go being judgmental again.
…and so that’s it. Finishing up the tin, but no repurchasing, even though it’s very possible that I’ll have it next time and be completely enthralled all over again. I honestly don’t know what really accounts for the drastic changes this tea goes through in my life, but I do know that I don’t appreciate a tea that’s this temperamental. If I have a love/hate relationship with a tea, we simply can’t last together, you know? Especially because my tea needs to be my guaranteed bit of enjoyment, and if the guarantee is all up in the air, it ‘aint gonna happen. So, we’re breaking up. No second chances. No friends with benefits. We’re through.