Ahhh. It’s been one of those mornings. Had a lot of stupid nightmares last night—of the very stereotypical variety—someone is chasing you or finds you and they want to harm you and you can’t run or scream and then your own unintelligible pre-historic cries wake you up and then you a) are happy to be awake; and b) laugh at the stupid noises you actually just made out loud. Thank heavens for snuggly bed buddies, because there’s nothing quite like being cuddled after a stupid nightmare, especially one that sounds really ridiculous when you try to explain it.
“It was just really scary, ok? just trust me.”
“So who was chasing you again?”
“I don’t even know if I was being chased! there were just these bad people…and they were like everywhere and I couldn’t get away!”
ha.

Sorry. So then I fell back asleep again and fell back into the same stupid nightmare! so dumb. But towards the morning, I slept like a normal person again and it was lovely. Slept in until noon which felt amazing, and then had a breakfast of French toast and this delicious tea. I didn’t put nearly as much sugar in it because it’s fairly sweet on its own, plus I wanted it to be less sweet than the French toast I was eating. It tasted like a deliciously decadent hot blueberry latte, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting more when this runs out. You can even smell and taste the “crumble”, so it isn’t a straight up blueberry tea. Dellaterra knows what it’s doing in the pie/cake/crumble department, straight up, yo.

Lala

I had a dream the other night where someone was keeping me hostage. Then I escaped with the help of someone else, then that person held me hostage. I kept escaping over and over again. (Not sure what that means). The worst part is I knew I was dreaming but couldn’t seem to wake up. Haha.

keychange

Those dreams are awful! LOL

Anna

I had the hollow teeth/teeth falling out dream – it’s usually a final stages of grief dream for me, which seems about right.

I love that half-awake stage where you can control the dream; I get that a lot. It’s really liberating, like directing your own interactive action film.

keychange

I don’t have those dreams nearly enough, although they would have with them a redeeming quality, that’s for sure.
Also, I’m sorry that you’re grieving, whatever the reason. Regardless of how much a loss can make sense on an intellectual level (we all die/people move on/whatever), our hearts are often so much slower to grapple with it and make sense of something that feels so unbelievably heartbreaking. I can only promise you that it won’t always hurt this badly.

Nxtdoor

My recurring nightmare is that of water. I’m swimming in the ocean (sometimes I’m in a boat but usually at the beach swimming) and then a terrifying Tsunami-like wave forms out of nowhere and crashes over my head. I go under but wake up just before I get swept out to sea or drown. Pretty awful.

Anna

Oh, they definitely do – there’s always this moment when something absolutely horrifying is about to happen to me in the dream, and right then I come awake just enough to take control. The look of surprise on the faces of whatever spectres are dream-haunting me never fails to delight.

And thanks – but I have no problem with grief. Like you say – it’s a logical process. Grief makes sense. Besides, to me, feeling is being alive.

keychange

It’s a logical process, but I dare say you’re better at it than I am! :).

keychange

nxtdoor, that sounds absolutely terrifying!

Indigobloom

I had strange dreams too. Don’t recall much but I remember watching someone fall to their death :(

ifjuly

Nxtdoor, I have a recurring nightmare that’s similar if not identical—I’m on a beach and having a great time and then suddenly there’s a sea change (heh) to the whole mood and abruptly the lighting changes and there’s no more crowd of laughing happy folks, the tide starts to ominously come in fast and suddenly there’s a monstrously huge tsunami in the distance and I’m trying desperately to climb up the sand dunes to safety but it keeps eroding and I try and try and can’t get to the top and the wave engulfs me. It’s one of my least favorite nightmares, blugh. Sorry you have an awful one. :(

JustJames

i have a history with night terrors, but a few years back i had one where the cat curled up on my feet, the dog on my knees, another cat, few more dogs…. i was feeling very squished but loved! but i couldn’t move except for my head. suddenly a dark figure was coming towards me with a needle aimed at my forehead. NOT OKAY! it was one of those huge ones.

anyway, in my struggles to twist my head away i managed to crack my head into my partner’s and give myself a concussion? sigh. i had this giant lump. i looked like a unicorn.

keychange

What a nightmarish thread!! ha

keychange

LOL JustJames, I bet you can laugh at it now, but man…a concussion! At least you had enough strength to have a real-life reaction

Anna

Now I will always picture JustJames as a unicorn.

ifjuly

oh man. first i was all “aw cuddly” then terrorface then lol.

keychange

james is rather unicorn like, actually! a bit magical in his writing. Lots of deep feelings. I can see it!

JustJames

it was so bad. i was crazy bruised.

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Lala

I had a dream the other night where someone was keeping me hostage. Then I escaped with the help of someone else, then that person held me hostage. I kept escaping over and over again. (Not sure what that means). The worst part is I knew I was dreaming but couldn’t seem to wake up. Haha.

keychange

Those dreams are awful! LOL

Anna

I had the hollow teeth/teeth falling out dream – it’s usually a final stages of grief dream for me, which seems about right.

I love that half-awake stage where you can control the dream; I get that a lot. It’s really liberating, like directing your own interactive action film.

keychange

I don’t have those dreams nearly enough, although they would have with them a redeeming quality, that’s for sure.
Also, I’m sorry that you’re grieving, whatever the reason. Regardless of how much a loss can make sense on an intellectual level (we all die/people move on/whatever), our hearts are often so much slower to grapple with it and make sense of something that feels so unbelievably heartbreaking. I can only promise you that it won’t always hurt this badly.

Nxtdoor

My recurring nightmare is that of water. I’m swimming in the ocean (sometimes I’m in a boat but usually at the beach swimming) and then a terrifying Tsunami-like wave forms out of nowhere and crashes over my head. I go under but wake up just before I get swept out to sea or drown. Pretty awful.

Anna

Oh, they definitely do – there’s always this moment when something absolutely horrifying is about to happen to me in the dream, and right then I come awake just enough to take control. The look of surprise on the faces of whatever spectres are dream-haunting me never fails to delight.

And thanks – but I have no problem with grief. Like you say – it’s a logical process. Grief makes sense. Besides, to me, feeling is being alive.

keychange

It’s a logical process, but I dare say you’re better at it than I am! :).

keychange

nxtdoor, that sounds absolutely terrifying!

Indigobloom

I had strange dreams too. Don’t recall much but I remember watching someone fall to their death :(

ifjuly

Nxtdoor, I have a recurring nightmare that’s similar if not identical—I’m on a beach and having a great time and then suddenly there’s a sea change (heh) to the whole mood and abruptly the lighting changes and there’s no more crowd of laughing happy folks, the tide starts to ominously come in fast and suddenly there’s a monstrously huge tsunami in the distance and I’m trying desperately to climb up the sand dunes to safety but it keeps eroding and I try and try and can’t get to the top and the wave engulfs me. It’s one of my least favorite nightmares, blugh. Sorry you have an awful one. :(

JustJames

i have a history with night terrors, but a few years back i had one where the cat curled up on my feet, the dog on my knees, another cat, few more dogs…. i was feeling very squished but loved! but i couldn’t move except for my head. suddenly a dark figure was coming towards me with a needle aimed at my forehead. NOT OKAY! it was one of those huge ones.

anyway, in my struggles to twist my head away i managed to crack my head into my partner’s and give myself a concussion? sigh. i had this giant lump. i looked like a unicorn.

keychange

What a nightmarish thread!! ha

keychange

LOL JustJames, I bet you can laugh at it now, but man…a concussion! At least you had enough strength to have a real-life reaction

Anna

Now I will always picture JustJames as a unicorn.

ifjuly

oh man. first i was all “aw cuddly” then terrorface then lol.

keychange

james is rather unicorn like, actually! a bit magical in his writing. Lots of deep feelings. I can see it!

JustJames

it was so bad. i was crazy bruised.

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Well, it’s been slightly over six months since I’ve joined steepster, and I can’t say enough wonderful things about this community. Like many of you, I began my foray into the world of loose-leaf tea by discovering David’s Tea, and although I’ve ventured out and have discovered many other companies that I’m extremely fond of, there are still many of David’s teas that I hold close to my heart and I will always appreciate it as a starting point for my journey.

As for my preferences, I tend to prefer bold black tea, flavoured and unflavoured alike, and I almost always take my blacks with cream and sugar. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy a good, flavoured white though, and I’m slowly making my way through the incredibly confusing world of oolongs and greens. I am also not a fan of rooibos, although I am starting to suspect green rooibos may be ok, but you know how it is: when you’ve decided you detest a certain ingredient, you’ll notice it everywhere—perhaps even where it doesn’t exist!

Things other than tea: I’m engaged to be married to my best friend, and feel like the richest woman on the planet because of it. I am also a veracious reader, and I also happen to have an obsession with fragrances, and have amassed quite a collection, although it pales in comparison to some collections out there! As a result of this obsession, I also follow several fragrance blogs, and am always up for a chat about scent. I’m also almost completely blind, and this does indeed mean that I come complete with a guide dog, who unlike me, hales from the sunny California campus of Guide dogs for the Blind. I think I’ve rambled on long enough, but if there’s anything you’d like to know or if you just feel like chatting to someone, please don’t hesitate to send me a message.

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Ontario, Canada

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