The first time I gave this tea a review, I gave it a 95, because I’m like that fussy teacher that doesn’t give out A+ ratings ON PRINCIPLE. Surely there’s SOMETHING wrong with this tea, I reasoned.
Wrong.
There is nothing wrong with this tea. This is the tea I have been waiting for. This is my tea.
This tea is like if the Bearenstain Bears were real, and adopted you, and gave you warm hugs and words of homey wisdom. You could hang out with Mama Bear and Papa Bear and Sister Bear and Brother Bear every day as their cherished Human Bear.
This tea is my Grail.
I am going to be depressed when they inevitably discontinue it without warning.
…
I would apologise for the quality of this review (I am slowly wilting from exhaustion today), but actually, it’s about on par with the reviews I usually write. I am either a trailblazer of tea review imagery and humor — or a complete idiot.
No comments unless they’re compliments, y’all.
Comments
It’s BerenstAin bears. I always thought they were Jewish, too. There’s an entire conspiracy theory about it:
http://www.woodbetween.world/2012/08/the-berenstein-bears-we-are-living-in.html
Annnnd there is the award for most favorite review of all time. Berenstein Bears for life.
It’s BerenstAin bears. I always thought they were Jewish, too. There’s an entire conspiracy theory about it:
http://www.woodbetween.world/2012/08/the-berenstein-bears-we-are-living-in.html
Hahaha good call. I’m lucky I remembered that it is “bere” and not bear