When Frank sent out an email announcing a new blend this morning I was shocked. Tuna Melt? I mean come on. I like Tuna Melt paninis, but Tuna Melt tea? And it’s not even black tea. It’s green! What was Frank thinking? Clearly, he wasn’t. American cheese, buttery, greasy fries and tea. Somehow that combination doesn’t strike me as being particularly good, in terms of taste and for your health.
I pulled out my trusty cellphone that’s been dropped quite a number of times (poor thing) and speed dialed to 52teas. Frank picked up, but only after what must have been the hundredth ring. He was probably getting overwhelmed from the Strawberry Matcha orders a few days back or was it numerous phone calls asking him about this crazy blend of his… tuna melt. I still don’t know what Frank was thinking. I told him, I though he was crazy. He told me it was amazing and I should try it. He was like, you know what? I’ll even send you a pouch for free, rush delivery, free of charge, cause your my number one favorite customer. Wait, or was it Chelsea that said that? Ahhh, I forget, I’m getting old. Must be all that ginko tea I’ve been drinking. Was it ginko? Darn it, I forgot what I was talking about.
Oh yes, back to topic. Tuna melt! Argh, the idea still disgusts me. So yeah, an hour later the guy in the brown suit arrived with a brown package. I signed for it and unwrapped the package, sorta. Well, you see. I think the UPS guy got a bit hungry, the package was already torn open. At least he saved me half of the contents. I got out my Sorapot for this special occasion and patiently waited for my Zojirushi to drop to 175F. Pondering why this is a green tea base. Ring ding, plays a melody. Whatever, I meant to say the zojirushi made some noise and the water was finally ready. Wohooo, three minute infusion and I was ready to dive in!
Woah. Takes another sip. Woahhh. No seriously… WOAHHH. I thought Orange Ginger was good…. but this? You’ve out done yourself Frank. What does it taste like? Well, if you think of your favorite tea, for some people that might be matcha, for others it may be Japanese greens or pu-erhs. Whatever it is, close your eyes and just imagine it, imagine drinking it and sharing a cup with your favorite person, OR hording the cup. I mean if it’s your favorite tea you’d probably want to drink it all for yourself. Okay, now imagine all that plus your happiness moments in life. Yeah, it’s that good.
Yeah, that’s actually all a pile of BS. It tastes like nothing at all. It’s like drinking air or waking up from a bad dream. Darn you Frank!!! You would have totally gotten me if you had created a Peach Matcha blend. At least I didn’t get rick rolled ;)
This note is dedicated to Frank for making great, interesting, (insert adjective here) tea all year around. Sure there are some hits and misses, but in the end it’s the good ones that matter.
And our fellow Steepsterite member, Cofftea. Cheer up, it’s April Fools. Sure these jokes can definitely be annoying at times, but hey, we’re all adults and we only get to be
pranksters children once again every year. If it can brighten up someone’s day, why not. Let em have their fun and games.