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Right.

Auggy sent me this tea ages ago and we’re just not going to ask questions about “Exactly how long ago was that?” or “Why has it taken you so long to get around to trying it?” or “Why do you suck like a Dyson D28? Why? WHY?”

I don’t know! I don’t know! And I especially don’t know why I am so aware of the Dyson product line model numbers! My brain is a sponge and I have no control over what it absorbs! Leave me alone!

I’m sorry. I’ve got to get it together. Give me a moment to compose myself.

Okay, so the tea. That’s why we’re all here, after all. I’m fairly certain I messed this cup up, so I’m going to leave the rating off and try again later.

Actually, I’m going to try again right now, because I can’t finish this cup. You can probably guess where this is going [nowhere good].

It’s a beautiful autumn day in Virginia. The temperature is moderate, the leaves have, for the most part, changed, and the buzz of leaf blowers is permeating throughout the neighborhood’s usual ambience. In digging through my box o’ samples, I thought that a tea named “Maple” would be fitting for today, especially since I am contemplating making breakfast for dinner tonight [picked up a tin of this earlier and I’m admittedly excited – http://bit.ly/c0eCd2 – Viva la Contessa!].

Cracking open the container, it does indeed smell of extract/alcohol as Auggy mentioned. And then…

You will probably not be surprised to learn that at one point during my childhood my mother washed my mouth out with soap. Can’t say I really blame her. I was a good kid for the most part, but if I was ever told to do something that I didn’t want to do [or I felt that I had been slighted by one of the many injustices done unto me by my brother] I could be quite manipulative. I knew how to push people’s buttons, I took great pleasure in doing it, and my mother hated it when I swore. I think you can get the gist of what occurred on the fateful soap day, but I will elaborate to say that I had recently learned a fantastically versatile four-letter word.

As a side note, it will also probably come at no surprise to any of you that the soap didn’t do one lick of good to reduce my vulgarity when it comes to the spoken [or written] word. Though I will say that I make an effort to be mindful about curbing my penchant towards obscenities here on Steepster.

When I took my first sip of this tea, that is what I thought of – the soap. It was bitter and kind of filmy and not pleasant tasting at all. For those of you who have NOT had soap in your mouth, perhaps you have drank something out of a glass that was not quite rinsed of detergent completely? Same idea, just intensify.

So there was no sweetness, no maple taste, no malty flavor I was hoping to get from the black tea. Just…soap. NOT FUN.

Funny thing is, the aftertaste on my breath was rather maple-y [this is an Auggy sent tea, so I figure I can use Auggy isms like -y words] and so I think I am going to tack this batch down to user error. Hopefully the next trial will be met with more success and less BLECHing and making of faces.