Thirsty Elf Elixir Blend
Could the elves in your life be a little more jolly? Do you find their holiday revelry forced and uninspired? Are they more thirsty and irritable than usual? You may shrug off these warning signs as typical elf behavior. However, it’s quite possible your elves are suffering from any of a myriad of little-known, yet serious ailments known to interfere with joyous holiday merriment.
Thankfully, and just in time, we’ve unearthed the recipe for this forgotten cure-all. A proprietary, time-honored blend of five black teas, it’s guaranteed to quickly restore elf vigor, while also providing relief from sleigh lag, ice fever, carolaxis, pine mania, and general holiday malaise.
Try it yourself, and enjoy the many benefits of this rich, flavorful brew. While its miraculous healing properties have only been scientifically proven effective for elves, one sip will surely convince you of its suitability for humans as well. After all, isn’t there a little elf in all of us?
The Thirsty Elf Blend is a custom blend of black teas. Melt snow until boiling and add leaves. Strain after four minutes and serve piping hot.