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drank Isopure Lemon Black Tea by Isopure
90 tasting notes

My back hurts today after gutter cleaning on my roof yesterday. I couldn’t sleep and feel like crap, so why not just feel worse and drink some of the most awful tea sludge I can find? Also, I made certain to pick a tea that contains Sucralose (aka Splenda) which gives me the scoots something terrible. I shouldn’t really review this but once in awhile I like to shock the children who think I only drink the finest puerh.

This is a 20 oz bottled tea beverage marketed to sports types, weight lifters etc. It contains black tea, lemon juice, 40 grams of whey protein (probably caseinate) and 2500 mg of something called BCAA. I don’t know what that is, but it could be like growth hormones for Big 10 Bull College weightlifters? Anyway, I found this for 99 cents at the local Bent ’n Dent, it normally sells for like $46 for a case of 12 bottles and reviews on the Vitamin Shoppe prove some people buy this stuff. Mine is a few weeks out of date, just to add to the fun.

I drank 1/3 bottle chilled, at first I thought it was kombucha because it tastes sour and tangy, like fermented tea. Without preservatives, maybe it HAS fermented by now. Or maybe it is the lemon? The offending beverage is clear, however, so the casein is hidden in there somehow. I was sure this had gone bad, but a few sips more and I’m not so sure now. I think this could be how it really tastes. Basically like sour lemon and then the Sucralose hits me with a blast of artificial candy and lingers forever. Because Sucralose isn’t digested by the body, I fully expect to be in the toilet within an hour.

Okay I got through 1/3 of it, cramps are coming on. For those of you worried about trying sheng puerh, there are worse things to be drinking, homegrown in the west. This is one of them.

Flavors: Artificial, Lemon, Sour


Hah!! Had to laugh… ‘cos am trying to brave the sheng world (to date love the shu). Also am health freak/lifter…still wouldn’t drink above…heh :)


Oh this sounds horrible. Horribly horrible. (And sheng is delicious. I’m scared to try shu, though…..)


Yah just got off the shitter, I-so-pure now. Just kidding. Glad I quit when I did, though.


lol, why would you do that to yourself, WHYYYYY! hahahaha, you crack me up.


If you’re determined to go over to the Dark Side, apparently Isopure also does a nifty line in ‘the purest whey protein isolate’. Otherwise known as a byproduct of cheese, or, as Stephen Fry calls it, ‘milk-gone-off-big-time-stylee’.

You could add a dash to your morning cuppa for that extra lip-curling, stomach-churning Oomph.

//sips a heavenly Oolong and watches with interest Cwyn’s search-in-earnest for the worst tea ever brewed. From a safe distance.//


What you are referring to is sodium caseinate, “whey isolate” is the new term for it. It has long been used as a cheaper milk substitute. Back in high school in the late 1970s, I was on the debate team and we had a consumer products topic one year, I remembering arguing “casein cases,” the debate was whether casein mass production could be an economic boon or if it ruined milk farmers. For awhile in the 1980s, consumers caught on to casein and bought fewer products with it, and manufacturers started hiding it under various names. Whey isolate is casein back again in 21th century techno form.


They’re selling … powdered milk?


(though I suppose that’s no odder than my waxing long and lyrical about soaking foliage in a jug of hot water, now I come to think about it…)

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