All it takes is a smell to transport you back in time to an old job and to a point where you were both happy and not, content and yet feeling like I was at a stalemate with my life.
Opening up my Easter Egg tea hunt, I saw this one the other day. I remember thinking, “I still have some of this left, but yeah I’ll drink it. It’s been a really long time.”
As I opened the small container, the roasted mate smell instantly made its way up my nose and took me flying through time to those mornings at that job when things were quiet and I would try and find things to do with myself. I would start to write as that’s something I tend to do when bored. It helps release the frustration in me as I hate being bored, plus it’s something I love. It did cause issues at work with my boss, but I knew that writing was my first true love and that was honestly what I want to do more than just be a receptionist at a spa. But I remember feeling so stifled at that job. I remember feeling like my creative freedom was being just pressed down so much I couldn’t breathe, which is weird ‘cause really it wasn’t that bad, but that’s the way my head made it out to be.
Anyways, this tea takes me back to that time. At that time I didn’t write much. I felt like I couldn’t and if I did that it was wrong of me to. When I got home at the end of the day it was hard to separate those two very different ways of thinking.
Really it’s silly. It wasn’t that bad, but somehow I made it that way.
Anyways, this tea… it reminds me of a really weird time. A time when writing was hard for me. A time when I couldn’t write the way I wanted to. But now… now I am in a spot where I write all the time. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Now I’m in a spot where I’m actually doing two jobs I love, while finding time to write and bake and all sorts of things.
It’s really amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye almost and life can get much better.
I don’t think I’d keep this tea in my cupboard. It’s just weird memories…
