65

My girlfriend is sympathetic, texting me throughout the day. By the end of my work day I’m a bit grumpy, even irritable. My back still hurt, the boots I had worn had started to dig into one of my heels, now dead tired, and the six shots of espresso I had taken throughout the day to try to keep myself propped up had just added a strange bend to my reality which seemed to make things a bit further away than they really were.

She’s trying to be supportive, but she does it with “I’m sorry your back hurts,”, “I’m sorry you’re tired,” and I know she’s trying to be sympathetic, but “I’m sorry” comes off as an apology to me and it’s a mild irritation, and in present mindset, it’s a major irritation. I have to keep myself from re-addressing this because it’s appearing as a bigger issue than it actually is. I’m driving home and she texts me and there it is again, “I’m sorry this” “I’m sorry that” and I want to text back “You talk like your apologizing that you exist with how much you say that!”

She’s trying to help, but it bugs me, and I try to disengage from any communication with her that isn’t necessary, which probably doesn’t help her out emotionally, but I know myself and with such a internal stress, I feel like it’s only a matter of time until I let it out on her, if I keep up- that is.

I’m planning on marrying her, so I disengage and she doesn’t seem to notice, or at least doesn’t complain. I sleep, and the morning- my back still hurts, my heel is now sore from the boot, but I’m conscious and feel well rested. She sends me a picture of herself while I’m in line at the BMV waiting to get new plates and wondering why I’m the only person in line at the BMV that doesn’t look like they just got done working as an extra as a Morlock in a low-budget, made-for-TV adaptation of H. G. Wells’ The Time Machine. I want to be good to her, and sometimes that’s by doing nothing.

At home, I drink a bowl full of Teavana’s overpriced, but good matcha. My girlfriend had given me a matcha whisk for Christmas. I think she didn’t really know what it was for or what it was used for, but it was on my Amazon wishlist and carried a low price tag. I made matcha for her the last time she was visiting and she seemed to like it. I used her whisk and thought about her.

opi

Do your girlfriend a favor; let her go now so she can find someone nice and less self absorbed to spend her time with. Your story sounds too familiar.

Stephen

Okay. I’ll let her know that a stranger on the Internet judged our relationship based on one microcosm post about my back hurting and me being irritated.

opi

You sound like a decent guy and a good sport based on your response to my blunt remark but how you feel and respond within a relationship, when you are tired and hurting and irritated, is what will define your relationship. It is the 500 pound gorilla in the room. It’s easy to be nice, have a good attitude and do for others when you are feeling great. Your story painted a picture that I am familiar with and it still hurts to look at it but again, you do seem to be a decent and smart guy. Enjoy your tea. :-)

Stephen

I’d like to qualify that I wrote this post while in pretty bad back pain, and I can clearly see that I had some clarity issues that I ordinarily wouldn’t have let in… What I was trying to convey- my struggle to not let my back trouble bleed into the relationship. I want to treat my girlfriend right, and not treat her wrongly because of something that is not her fault at all. Most things I’m good at not doing the kick-the-dog kind of thing, but back trouble when it happens to me causes trouble in every physical action I have, and is hard to keep myself out of a bad mood.

I didn’t want my initial response to you to come off as too smart-ass, but it encourages something that is a terrifying idea to me, which is not being with her. The priority in my life has been to find a partner, and I’ve had lots of false starts that I had almost come to the “realization” that there is no such thing as someone who is “perfect” for me, and when things seemed to be at their absolute worst, I found her and I want to hold on to her and be the best I can for her.

Regularly, we talk about our approval ratings for each other and we seem to be doing very well. I feel like I came off as one of the people on Springer shouting, “You don’t know me!” with a bit of the neck work in there too, of course, and things are incredibly good across the board. I truly feel that I treat her well, and the point of my writing was to express that I have been trying very hard the past few days to not do her an injustice because of my current physical pain.

Add a Comment

Please keep things friendly and .

People who liked this

Comments

opi

Do your girlfriend a favor; let her go now so she can find someone nice and less self absorbed to spend her time with. Your story sounds too familiar.

Stephen

Okay. I’ll let her know that a stranger on the Internet judged our relationship based on one microcosm post about my back hurting and me being irritated.

opi

You sound like a decent guy and a good sport based on your response to my blunt remark but how you feel and respond within a relationship, when you are tired and hurting and irritated, is what will define your relationship. It is the 500 pound gorilla in the room. It’s easy to be nice, have a good attitude and do for others when you are feeling great. Your story painted a picture that I am familiar with and it still hurts to look at it but again, you do seem to be a decent and smart guy. Enjoy your tea. :-)

Stephen

I’d like to qualify that I wrote this post while in pretty bad back pain, and I can clearly see that I had some clarity issues that I ordinarily wouldn’t have let in… What I was trying to convey- my struggle to not let my back trouble bleed into the relationship. I want to treat my girlfriend right, and not treat her wrongly because of something that is not her fault at all. Most things I’m good at not doing the kick-the-dog kind of thing, but back trouble when it happens to me causes trouble in every physical action I have, and is hard to keep myself out of a bad mood.

I didn’t want my initial response to you to come off as too smart-ass, but it encourages something that is a terrifying idea to me, which is not being with her. The priority in my life has been to find a partner, and I’ve had lots of false starts that I had almost come to the “realization” that there is no such thing as someone who is “perfect” for me, and when things seemed to be at their absolute worst, I found her and I want to hold on to her and be the best I can for her.

Regularly, we talk about our approval ratings for each other and we seem to be doing very well. I feel like I came off as one of the people on Springer shouting, “You don’t know me!” with a bit of the neck work in there too, of course, and things are incredibly good across the board. I truly feel that I treat her well, and the point of my writing was to express that I have been trying very hard the past few days to not do her an injustice because of my current physical pain.

Add a Comment

Please keep things friendly and .

Profile

Location

Columbus, OH

Following These People

Moderator Tools

Mark as Spammer