These are the voyages of the Starship Ewaprise
Dooooo doo doo doo doo doo DOOOOOOOOOOOOO dootiddy doo doo doo doo dootiddy doo, etc.
Captains Log, Stardate I have no idea.
While traveling through some kind of nebula, the ship’s supply of teabags, mysteriously disappeared. Since the ship was already low on energy, this resulted in a complete loss of power to the bridge. The ship floated aimlessly for a while, but when the crew began exhibiting signs of irritability, I decided to take action. By creating a singularity by reversing the polarity of the impulse thrusters we were able to achieve orbit around the planet Kaw Pheekart. An away team, consisting of myself, my first officer and Ensign Sodead (my sister’s boyfriend’s second cousin – I felt the lad could use some away team experience), took a shuttle down to the surface.
We landed in the country of Numi, where we learned that it’s sovereign, the Earl of Grey was temporarily out of the country, so we talked to his majordomo, Barry Black, who while a somewhat sour individual, was able to provide us with the energy we needed by converting excess rations to a cyclical nitrogenous liquid compatible with our systems. Unfortunately, Ensign Sodead was killed by a freak landslide on our way back to the shuttle.
As we left orbit, we ejected the warp core, just for giggles.